Wild Woman

I went to chemo class on Thursday. It was a lot about the day to day of dealing with chemo. Not to difficult. Just informational.

Friday, was a different story all together.

I went in for the mediport. It was way more than I thought it would be. The procedure itself was fine.

But I am not a needles, blood, hospital, medicine or drugs kind of gal. I guess no one really is, but it was rough.

As I lay in half awake state, sedated and waiting for the procedure to start, I could hear the doctors and nurses talking. They were talking about their lives and playing music.

A song came on....Home...about not fighting your demons and as I lay and listened, I started to cry.

I think the nurse thought I was in pain, but really, I was just feeling a little overwhelmed.

Laying in bed afterwards, it was really my first taste of laying around for hours with really nothing to do. The reality of what is happening began to set in.

After the procedure was over, I got up and looked at my hair and I just looked like a wild woman.

Well, Let me be clear, after I got up, I of course passed out.

And then I looked in the mirror and found a wild woman staring back at me.

Not that looking like a wild woman is anything new for me - but I really got a sense that it would be better if I made some changes.

So, I decided right then and there I need to start the process of cutting my hair and embracing what is to come.

My main focus right now is my kids and I need to be there for them and do what needs to be done so that they too can deal with what is to come.