My Eyes Are Up Here

I was surprised at how difficult it was to tell my parents I had cancer.

No parent ever wants to hear that about one of their children.

You never want your children to suffer, or hurt or feel any kind of pain.

I hurt for them and for all of my family and friends.

At first telling everyone was really hard, but by the time you've told the 12th person, there are just no more tears.

I still cry at random times throughout the day, but it's more about feeling overwhelmed than about anything else.

All the news of the cancer is now in my past and now I'm more worried about today and tomorrow.

I've spent a lot of time comforting people and letting them know that I'm okay. That everything is going to be okay.

It's true. It's going to be okay.

The craziest thing for me is that I've started having conversations with people that all start the same way.

"Hi. I have cancer."

Sounds like I should be in a meeting. My name is Tamee Jones and I have a problem.

Talking to people about my cancer has also been such a strange thing.

Some people stare at my boobs.

For real.

They hold my hand and tell me how sorry they are and they do it all while staring at my chest.

It kind of makes me laugh.

Don't get me wrong. Everyone has been beyond kind and I know they are all struggling to find the right words.

I just need to see the humor in all of it or I will drive myself crazy.