And So We Wait

So I went in for the test yesterday.

And I think you can guess, given the way this whole thing has gone, that it didn't go as planned.

They brought me to the procedure room where they planned to do a needle biopsy

I was put into a twilight state and they would move me in and out of the CAT scan machine as they tried to find the tumors and take their samples.

Normally, the procedure takes about 45 minutes. Of course, I really didn't have any idea of what was happening, since I was mostly sedated. But after they woke up, I found out it hadn't been 45 minutes, but rather two hours! And not only had it been 2 hours, but they also broke the news that they couldn't do the procedure.

Of course they couldn't.

I guess my intestines were pretty swollen and the tumors had fallen in among them. And they just couldn't safely take the samples.

We were told that they will need to surgically take the samples... and our good doctor spent quite a lot of time trying to find someone to do the operation. But, wouldn't you know it, there isn't a doctor available who can do it until Friday. Not tomorrow. But a week from tomorrow!

And, as hard as all the waiting has been, I have found myself praying a lot during this process.

And I have realized that so much of this journey about waiting on the Lord.

And it isn't just this journey that has been this way -- but really my whole life!

I didn't go on my mission when everyone else went. I had to wait to get my answer to go.

I didn't get married when everyone else got married. I had to wait to find the right person.

And I don't get to do chemo on schedule...because the Lord had something else in mind for me.

And while I don't know what it is He has in mind, and as hard as it is, I know that God has a plan for me and that I am in good hands.

And so we wait.